Don’t serve a feedback sandwich: how to give constructive feedback in a more palatable way

Don’t serve a feedback sandwich: how to give constructive feedback in a more palatable way

Have you heard of the “feedback sandwich” or “compliment sandwich” approach?

This is feedback-giving advice that some people still dole out. And some people still practice.

And I hope (very much!) that after reading this post, you will not use it, ever again.

In this blog post, I’ll first describe what the feedback sandwich is, and why its proponents think it’s a good idea. I’ll then describe what’s wrong with it and what to do instead.

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It takes two to tango: Rebuilding trust starts with one question

It takes two to tango: Rebuilding trust starts with one question

Last week, while I was facilitating a ‘Building Trusting Relationships in the Workplace’ workshop for one of my clients, a participant had an epiphany.

We were discussing how to build trust and repair broken trust.

This outspoken learner piped up about a damaged workplace relationship and the problems with the other person in it.

So I asked her this question that stopped her dead in her tracks…

I’ll share this question with you here, but let’s first talk about trust building.

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Don't make this nonverbal communication mistake [vlog]

Don't make this nonverbal communication mistake [vlog]

Nonverbal communication is absolutely critical to successful interactions when there's any potential for misunderstanding. But as I explain in the short vlog, there’s still a possibility of miscommunication even when you include the nonverbal. I share a personal (painful) story about a time when I learned this the hard way. (And why is there a knife in this video?…). So please watch, enjoy, and learn about how to avoid this nonverbal communication mistake.

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No regrets: how to make big & scary decisions

No regrets: how to make big & scary decisions

Periodically, we find ourselves having to make really key decisions that have critical implications. And when we stare these decisions in the eye, it often feels daunting and overwhelming.

In this post, I'll tell you two stories where the decision was tough and how a simple, magical filter question helped make the choice much less daunting.

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Career advice: Be in the business of building and maintaining bridges

Career advice: Be in the business of building and maintaining bridges

We’ve all heard the cliché before: don’t burn bridges.

When we say that, we mean that when we leave a job (presumably), we should not do things that will cause the people there to remember us poorly.

In general, this is good advice. All things being equal, I would advise this too.

But there’s more than just not destroying your reputation as far as your former boss and colleagues are concerned.

I think that there’s a huge opportunity (read: something most of us are not paying enough attention to) in the bridge building and maintenance business.

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3 typical team development ‘Yeah, but’ challenges and how to respond to them

3 typical team development ‘Yeah, but’ challenges and how to respond to them

During a recent delivery of one of my popular client workshops, Team Power, about how to develop high performing teams, we discussed seven common team development stages (I am partial to using the Drexler/Sibbert model). We also identified structural supports that help teams function optimally, reviewed the importance of trust in teams and ways to build it, discussed important team communication dynamics, and practiced applying this team development knowledge in a simulated team work situation, culminating with each learner creating an action plan for applying team dynamic best practices within their own team.

As usual, the learners were highly engaged and interested.

Also as usual, they still had some challenges they were grappling with, which came out in the form of what I call “’Yeah, but’s”.

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2017 goals and habits: Mid-year progress check

2017 goals and habits: Mid-year progress check

I have good news and bad news...

Bad news: half of 2017 is finished, gone, never to return!!! What?!?

Good news: you have a full six months to do what you set out to do this year!

If you follow my blog, you may recall that at the beginning of the year, I wrote a blog post detailing all my goals, strategies, and habits that I intended to achieve and implement in 2017.

It’s time to do a half-way progress check and report. There are two reasons why it’s important.

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Networking for introverts: it doesn’t have to be so hard

Networking for introverts: it doesn’t have to be so hard

If you are an introvert, chances are you don’t like networking. In fact, you probably despise it. Rather have a root canal. Avoid it like the plague. Think it’s a four-letter word.

But networking doesn’t have to be so awful. It doesn’t have to be so dang hard. You could actually learn to <gasp> enjoy it!

First, let’s talk about your mindset – it’s probably on the wrong track, as most people’s is, with regards to networking. And once you change that, there are many actionable, doable strategies and techniques that you can begin to implement immediately to get you started networking in an introvert-friendly, easier way.

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Let’s get gritty! (Book Review: Getting Grit by Caroline Adams Miller)

Let’s get gritty! (Book Review: Getting Grit by Caroline Adams Miller)

Grit is so important to goal accomplishment and success that I decided to share some golden nuggets of wisdom from both the book and the podcast right here in this post, to get you started. In this blog post, I’ll share some of Caroline’s thoughts and ideas on what is grit, specifically her concept of authentic grit, why we need to cultivate more grit in our culture, the good and bad types of grit, and how to grow your grit by adding the ingredients required for grit according to Caroline’s ‘grit recipe’.

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Make more “Me too!” moments

Make more “Me too!” moments

In this blog post, I explain what a "Me too!" moment is, and how we all experience them.

They happen naturally, frequently, and it’s a good thing – it helps us build bonds with others and have more positive interactions that lead to more trusting relationships.

But furthermore, when we recognize how and why this happens, we can actually also have more input into when and how often it does. Read more about it!

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These words should be banished from our speech forever (are you guilty of using them?)

These words should be banished from our speech forever (are you guilty of using them?)

Have you ever uttered these words?

“Honestly…”

“Truthfully…”

“To be frank…”

“To tell you the truth…”

“To be candid…”

“Ain’t gonna lie…”

If these words ever come out of your mouth in conversation, this blog post is for you: Stop it. Just stop it. Let me explain.

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No more Hot Potato networking introductions: the why and how of Double Opt-ins

No more Hot Potato networking introductions: the why and how of Double Opt-ins

I was guilty. I admit it.

I used to throw around ‘hot potato’ intros left and right.

I was unaware that I was committing a faux-pas.

Until I learned about the 'double opt-in' introduction, that is, and reformed my wayward ways.

What about you – are you guilty of the networking sin of the ‘hot potato’ intro?

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Build great business relationships by being a Giver

Build great business relationships by being a Giver

As I’ve explained before, I believe networking is all about building mutually-beneficial, long-term relationships.

When you build business relationships with an abundance mindset it should not scare you to give generously.

Giving helps you establish yourself as a go-to person. It helps you create immense value for others and supports your pursuit of mutually-beneficial, win-win relationships by tipping the proverbial scales in your favor.

But be smart about it - don't be a sucker.

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Tame your advice monster: leadership tips from two expert coach guests as heard on the TalentGrow Show podcast

Tame your advice monster: leadership tips from two expert coach guests as heard on the TalentGrow Show podcast

Humans in general, and especially leaders, we love to teach others.

We love to tell others what they should do.

We enjoy giving advice.

So if somebody comes to us and says, “I’m struggling with this or I don’t know how to do that,” we feel so much pressure to solve their problem for them. To be smart. To have all the answers.

Two world-leading coaching experts, Michael Bungay Stanier and Dr. Marcia Reynolds, agree it’s a mistake many leaders make. In this blog post, I share their advice (oh, the irony!) as given on my leadership podcast, the TalentGrow Show, on why leaders should stop doling out so much advice and what to do instead.

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Networking with integrity: It’s all in your mindset

Networking with integrity: It’s all in your mindset

When you think of the word ‘networking’, what comes to mind?

If you get an icky feeling in the pit of your stomach, keep reading.

First, you’re not alone. I find that most people have some variance of an aversion to networking. But when we dig deeper, it’s often because they’re thinking of the kind of “networking” that people with the wrong mindset do. The kind of networking that gives networking a bad rep.

I think I’m kind of a crusader for righting the reputation of networking. I want to bring honor back to this important activity. And it all starts with getting your mindset straight.

In the right kind of networking – the honorable kind, the kind with integrity and dignity – starts with an abundance mentality and a trader-principle approach. I’d like to explore these mindset foundations in this blog post.

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