Halelly's 5A Formula for saying no without making enemies

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Halelly's 5A Formula for saying no without making enemies

[Note: if you like to listen to learn, this post is also a podcast episode. Listen to it on episode 87!]

If you have a tendency to say Yes too much (we discussed why you shouldn’t in episode 82 of the TalentGrow Show podcast), or have a hard time saying No to requests from your boss, co-workers, employees, clients, or even in your personal life, then this blog post is for you.

Read on to learn some of the typical reasons we are reluctant to say No, some totally legitimate reasons why you should be saying No, and how to do it in a way that protects your time, independence, integrity, and your relationships and trust using my 5A Formula for Saying No.

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The Top 10 Most Popular TalentGrow Blog Posts in 2017 (and a change for 2018)

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The Top 10 Most Popular TalentGrow Blog Posts in 2017 (and a change for 2018)

As we stare down the last days of 2017, let’s stroll down memory lane and look back at some of the popular content I’ve already created on the TalentGrow blog. According to my website traffic statistics, what were the top 10 most visited  blog posts in 2017?

Drumroll please….

Plus, an announcement about what will change in 2018. Check it out!

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The most powerful question all facilitators must ask

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The most powerful question all facilitators must ask

Earlier this year, ATD invited me to be a guest expert and create a series of instructional videos where I share insider tips from my 25+ year career in talent development.

In this one, I explain the one powerful question all facilitators must ask.

Whether you're facilitating a meeting, a client presentation, or a training or learning session or workshop, you're trying to engage your audience to actively participate. To be a truly engaging facilitator, you want to ensure you invite your audience members to ask questions and actively participate.

But HOW you ask for their questions -- that's something I want to get you to think about today.

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Don’t serve a feedback sandwich: how to give constructive feedback in a more palatable way

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Don’t serve a feedback sandwich: how to give constructive feedback in a more palatable way

Have you heard of the “feedback sandwich” or “compliment sandwich” approach?

This is feedback-giving advice that some people still dole out. And some people still practice.

And I hope (very much!) that after reading this post, you will not use it, ever again.

In this blog post, I’ll first describe what the feedback sandwich is, and why its proponents think it’s a good idea. I’ll then describe what’s wrong with it and what to do instead.

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It takes two to tango: Rebuilding trust starts with one question

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It takes two to tango: Rebuilding trust starts with one question

Last week, while I was facilitating a ‘Building Trusting Relationships in the Workplace’ workshop for one of my clients, a participant had an epiphany.

We were discussing how to build trust and repair broken trust.

This outspoken learner piped up about a damaged workplace relationship and the problems with the other person in it.

So I asked her this question that stopped her dead in her tracks…

I’ll share this question with you here, but let’s first talk about trust building.

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Don't make this nonverbal communication mistake [vlog]

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Don't make this nonverbal communication mistake [vlog]

Nonverbal communication is absolutely critical to successful interactions when there's any potential for misunderstanding. But as I explain in the short vlog, there’s still a possibility of miscommunication even when you include the nonverbal. I share a personal (painful) story about a time when I learned this the hard way. (And why is there a knife in this video?…). So please watch, enjoy, and learn about how to avoid this nonverbal communication mistake.

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Make more “Me too!” moments

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Make more “Me too!” moments

In this blog post, I explain what a "Me too!" moment is, and how we all experience them.

They happen naturally, frequently, and it’s a good thing – it helps us build bonds with others and have more positive interactions that lead to more trusting relationships.

But furthermore, when we recognize how and why this happens, we can actually also have more input into when and how often it does. Read more about it!

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These words should be banished from our speech forever (are you guilty of using them?)

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These words should be banished from our speech forever (are you guilty of using them?)

Have you ever uttered these words?

“Honestly…”

“Truthfully…”

“To be frank…”

“To tell you the truth…”

“To be candid…”

“Ain’t gonna lie…”

If these words ever come out of your mouth in conversation, this blog post is for you: Stop it. Just stop it. Let me explain.

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4 common listening sins to avoid (if you want to build or strengthen your work and personal relationships)

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4 common listening sins to avoid (if you want to build or strengthen your work and personal relationships)

I’m going to describe the four common listening sins to you, but first, a challenge:

Is there a chance that maybe, just maybe, you do this too?

If you’re being honest with yourself, your answer should be “Yes.” Because we all commit these listening sins from time to time.

Here are the four common listening sins -- do you recognize them? 

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Why you should stop distracted listening

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Why you should stop distracted listening

Does listening involve just your ears? Halelly Azulay of TalentGrow says definitely not. In this short video blog (vlog), she describes the commonly experienced negative effects of distracted listening and why you should stop doing that to people you care about. This advice is crucial for leaders of all levels (but it will also help you in your personal relationships).

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Why email sucks (for really important conversations) [vlog]

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Why email sucks (for really important conversations) [vlog]

Have you ever had someone react emotionally to an email you sent and catch you completely off-guard? Did you ever re-read and re-write the same email eleventy-million times before hitting 'send'? Do you want to communicate more effectively and not damage your relationships at work and otherwise? Watch this short video blog (vlog) to learn the common mistake many leaders and team members make when choosing email as their mode of communication when it comes to important conversations. Learn the science behind the negative reactions people often have to your carefully crafted emails and how to prevent these situations from happening. Improve your communication effectiveness and become a better leader.

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Intention + interest + practice = communication success

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Intention + interest + practice = communication success

I was facilitating a workshop on the three keys to communication success. We were talking about the need to consider the style and preference of the audience in shaping our communication approach when a participant spoke up.

“I hate when people do this. When my manager comes to talk to me and starts beating around the bush and giving me positive comments, I always get real skeptical and feel like there must be something bad or something more coming. I just want to tell him, “just come out with it! Give it to me straight!”.”

Here's what I told him.

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3 tricks to take networking from icky to awesome [vlog]

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3 tricks to take networking from icky to awesome [vlog]

Do you hate networking? Most people I meet do. But networking doesn't have to be a 4-letter word. In this video, leadership development strategist and communication expert Halelly Azulay will teach you 3 simple, easy tricks that will help you take networking from icky to awesome!

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3 research-based tricks to help control emotions during critical conversations

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3 research-based tricks to help control emotions during critical conversations

Maybe your particular upcoming critical conversation doesn’t involve a rude conversation counterpart like the one in the story I tell in this blog post. But regardless, it’s got your attention and you’re probably feeling anxiety-ridden about it. It’s got you in its grip, am I right?

So when you know that you have an upcoming challenging conversation that may lead to conflict, disappointment, and/or disagreement (initially), how do you manage your own emotions effectively to stay productive and not get caught up in the emotional reaction swirl of fight, flight, or freeze?

The key to not reacting emotionally in critical conversations is to learn to regulate our emotions. Here are three tricks from research to help us regulate our emotions during critical conversations:

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