Nurture your naysayers: How to lead people who resist your leadership [vlog]

Nurture your naysayers: How to lead people who resist your leadership [vlog]

They don’t want to follow. They resist. What should you do with those naysayers?
In this short video blog (vlog), which I'm cross-posting as an 'Ask Halelly' podcast episode, I answer this question:

“How Should I Lead People Who Don't Want To Follow?”

My answer might surprise you:

Could you... thank them?

Read More

Halelly's 5A Formula for saying no without making enemies

Halelly's 5A Formula for saying no without making enemies

[Note: if you like to listen to learn, this post is also a podcast episode. Listen to it on episode 87!]

If you have a tendency to say Yes too much (we discussed why you shouldn’t in episode 82 of the TalentGrow Show podcast), or have a hard time saying No to requests from your boss, co-workers, employees, clients, or even in your personal life, then this blog post is for you.

Read on to learn some of the typical reasons we are reluctant to say No, some totally legitimate reasons why you should be saying No, and how to do it in a way that protects your time, independence, integrity, and your relationships and trust using my 5A Formula for Saying No.

Read More

The Top 10 Most Popular TalentGrow Blog Posts in 2017 (and a change for 2018)

The Top 10 Most Popular TalentGrow Blog Posts in 2017 (and a change for 2018)

As we stare down the last days of 2017, let’s stroll down memory lane and look back at some of the popular content I’ve already created on the TalentGrow blog. According to my website traffic statistics, what were the top 10 most visited  blog posts in 2017?

Drumroll please….

Plus, an announcement about what will change in 2018. Check it out!

Read More

The most powerful question all facilitators must ask

The most powerful question all facilitators must ask

Earlier this year, ATD invited me to be a guest expert and create a series of instructional videos where I share insider tips from my 25+ year career in talent development.

In this one, I explain the one powerful question all facilitators must ask.

Whether you're facilitating a meeting, a client presentation, or a training or learning session or workshop, you're trying to engage your audience to actively participate. To be a truly engaging facilitator, you want to ensure you invite your audience members to ask questions and actively participate.

But HOW you ask for their questions -- that's something I want to get you to think about today.

Read More

Don’t serve a feedback sandwich: how to give constructive feedback in a more palatable way

Don’t serve a feedback sandwich: how to give constructive feedback in a more palatable way

Have you heard of the “feedback sandwich” or “compliment sandwich” approach?

This is feedback-giving advice that some people still dole out. And some people still practice.

And I hope (very much!) that after reading this post, you will not use it, ever again.

In this blog post, I’ll first describe what the feedback sandwich is, and why its proponents think it’s a good idea. I’ll then describe what’s wrong with it and what to do instead.

Read More

It takes two to tango: Rebuilding trust starts with one question

It takes two to tango: Rebuilding trust starts with one question

Last week, while I was facilitating a ‘Building Trusting Relationships in the Workplace’ workshop for one of my clients, a participant had an epiphany.

We were discussing how to build trust and repair broken trust.

This outspoken learner piped up about a damaged workplace relationship and the problems with the other person in it.

So I asked her this question that stopped her dead in her tracks…

I’ll share this question with you here, but let’s first talk about trust building.

Read More

Don't make this nonverbal communication mistake [vlog]

Don't make this nonverbal communication mistake [vlog]

Nonverbal communication is absolutely critical to successful interactions when there's any potential for misunderstanding. But as I explain in the short vlog, there’s still a possibility of miscommunication even when you include the nonverbal. I share a personal (painful) story about a time when I learned this the hard way. (And why is there a knife in this video?…). So please watch, enjoy, and learn about how to avoid this nonverbal communication mistake.

Read More

Make more “Me too!” moments

Make more “Me too!” moments

In this blog post, I explain what a "Me too!" moment is, and how we all experience them.

They happen naturally, frequently, and it’s a good thing – it helps us build bonds with others and have more positive interactions that lead to more trusting relationships.

But furthermore, when we recognize how and why this happens, we can actually also have more input into when and how often it does. Read more about it!

Read More

Tame your advice monster: leadership tips from two expert coach guests as heard on the TalentGrow Show podcast

Tame your advice monster: leadership tips from two expert coach guests as heard on the TalentGrow Show podcast

Humans in general, and especially leaders, we love to teach others.

We love to tell others what they should do.

We enjoy giving advice.

So if somebody comes to us and says, “I’m struggling with this or I don’t know how to do that,” we feel so much pressure to solve their problem for them. To be smart. To have all the answers.

Two world-leading coaching experts, Michael Bungay Stanier and Dr. Marcia Reynolds, agree it’s a mistake many leaders make. In this blog post, I share their advice (oh, the irony!) as given on my leadership podcast, the TalentGrow Show, on why leaders should stop doling out so much advice and what to do instead.

Read More

How leaders can create a culture of candor and upward feedback: advice from 3 TalentGrow Show podcast guests

How leaders can create a culture of candor and upward feedback: advice from 3 TalentGrow Show podcast guests

The topic of feedback comes up in many of my conversations with my own clients, and it has also been a topic of conversation on my podcast, the TalentGrow Show. We frequently talk about how to give feedback, but are you also encouraging upward feedback from those whom you lead and manage? In this blog post, three podcast guests share some concerns about why you might not be getting all the feedback you need and actionable advice for changing that reality to ensure you are preventing blind-spots and creating a culture of candor and upward feedback.

Read More

5 Lessons on being a creative leader from three TalentGrow Show podcast guests

5 Lessons on being a creative leader from three TalentGrow Show podcast guests

This past weekend I attended a professional development workshop centered around being a more creative facilitator, led by my friend and colleague and creativity-in-business expert, Michelle James of the Center for Creative Emergence. It was a great opportunity to gain new ideas, insights, and techniques I can use. But even more than that – it reminded me of some of the important lessons I’ve learned from my podcast guests (including Michelle) about why and how leaders should focus on bringing more creativity to their own ‘game’ as well as encourage and nurture it in their teams. Here’s a review those lessons for your reading convenience!

Read More

'Be yourself' or 'Fake it till you make it'? How to straddle the leadership advice debate

'Be yourself' or 'Fake it till you make it'? How to straddle the leadership advice debate

Leadership development advice can be confusing and full of paradoxes. It’s really not very easy to be a good leader. In this blog post, Halelly shares a personal story and an epiphany she had during a team building experience that helped her know what NOT to do as a leader, and describes a recent debate among leadership gurus Adam Grant and Brené Brown about whether 'Be Yourself' is good advice. Chime in and share where you stand on this matter!

Read More

4 common listening sins to avoid (if you want to build or strengthen your work and personal relationships)

4 common listening sins to avoid (if you want to build or strengthen your work and personal relationships)

I’m going to describe the four common listening sins to you, but first, a challenge:

Is there a chance that maybe, just maybe, you do this too?

If you’re being honest with yourself, your answer should be “Yes.” Because we all commit these listening sins from time to time.

Here are the four common listening sins -- do you recognize them? 

Read More