Halelly's 5A Formula for saying no without making enemies

Halelly's 5A Formula for saying no without making enemies

[Note: if you like to listen to learn, this post is also a podcast episode. Listen to it on episode 87!]

If you have a tendency to say Yes too much (we discussed why you shouldn’t in episode 82 of the TalentGrow Show podcast), or have a hard time saying No to requests from your boss, co-workers, employees, clients, or even in your personal life, then this blog post is for you.

Read on to learn some of the typical reasons we are reluctant to say No, some totally legitimate reasons why you should be saying No, and how to do it in a way that protects your time, independence, integrity, and your relationships and trust using my 5A Formula for Saying No.

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Let’s get gritty! (Book Review: Getting Grit by Caroline Adams Miller)

Let’s get gritty! (Book Review: Getting Grit by Caroline Adams Miller)

Grit is so important to goal accomplishment and success that I decided to share some golden nuggets of wisdom from both the book and the podcast right here in this post, to get you started. In this blog post, I’ll share some of Caroline’s thoughts and ideas on what is grit, specifically her concept of authentic grit, why we need to cultivate more grit in our culture, the good and bad types of grit, and how to grow your grit by adding the ingredients required for grit according to Caroline’s ‘grit recipe’.

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The surprising connection between Pokémon GO and luck

The surprising connection between Pokémon GO and luck

Too often, we look at various situations and ascribe their source to this magical type of luck when there was a greater degree of choice and intentionality than we give credit to.

In my view, most of the things we brand as ‘luck’ are actually the result of the person being open to opportunities and intentional with their goals and aspirations.

So what does Pokémon GO have to do with luck?

While I was speaking to my audience about the value of networking for creating publishing opportunities and connections, it hit me: it's just like Pokémon GO!

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FOCUS: The secret to crushing your goals in 2016 and beyond

FOCUS: The secret to crushing your goals in 2016 and beyond

We are living in a world of always on, always connected, information overload and constant distractions. Meetings, emails, web surfing, social media, reacting to other people’s priorities, and saying ‘yes’ to requests that don’t get us closer to achieving our goals are just some of the ways we get seduced into doing work that ultimately doesn’t “move the needle”. It doesn’t move us closer to achieving our goals.

I certainly struggle with achieving focus and avoiding the incessant distractions. Here are some of the best ideas and tips from science and experts that can help us all make 2016 our best year yet.

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The 3 secrets of the value-creator mindset

The 3 secrets of the value-creator mindset

Great achievements are not easy. Most value creators are prepared to put in lots of hard work, effort, and energy toward their important goals. But many of us are caught off-guard when we experience fear, discomfort, or major set-backs. Learning to evaluate the risk and creating the resilience and grit necessary to push ahead will generate momentum and satisfaction with the progress of the journey, not just the rewards of the final outcomes.

Here are some tips and techniques to help you overcome fear and push through the discomfort that often accompany really big breakthroughs. You’ll see that failure is not only inevitable, it’s actually something you should NOT avoid at all costs.

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Halelly goes to Hollywood

Halelly goes to Hollywood

In a recent podcast interview, my wise friend and goal setting guru Caroline Miller, MAPP, challenged me to share something I’m doing that is pushing me squarely outside my comfort zone that I consider a big scary risk. My answer was that starting my business was an example of doing that. But there was something else that was brewing and that I wasn’t yet ready to share...

And now I am…

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The Ultimate New Year's Resolution: Make 2014 Your Year of Fast Learning!

The Ultimate New Year's Resolution: Make 2014 Your Year of Fast Learning!
With a New Year upon us, everyone else is posting about how to set goals and make New Year's resolutions. In this post, you can learn about how to make the ultimate New Year's Resolution - you can learn new skills and habits fast using a 4 step process from Josh Kaufman and lots of other resources. Learn 12 new habits in 2014 if you apply this model to learn one new skill each month of the year. What are you going to learn in 2014?
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Halelly Goes to Vlogland - Welcome, and 2 Requests

What are your big goals for this year? How are you forwarding your action on achieving them?

Well one of my goals this year was to venture into the wonderful world of video blogging. And I've decided to just leap into the deep end. So - here is my first 'vlog'. I hope you like it - and please give me suggestions and feedback. Thanks! 

TRANSCRIPT

Halelly: Hi. This is Halelly, from TalentGrow, and welcome to my first video blog, or vlog. I wrote down my goals for 2012 and this is one of them – I want to create more video delivery of content. I write in my blog, I wrote a book, I speak with clients via my workshops and my conference presentations and my training and facilitation work and teambuilding, but I’ve never done a video. So I decided, why not? Let’s do it.

You write down a goal, you have to write down what actions you’re going to take to make that goal a reality. There has to be something that you can do everyday, or at least every week, to move you every big closer to achieving that goal, even if it’s just baby steps. Because stuff gets in the way. Emergencies, crises, other people’s priorities, all can actually hijack your goal. And sometimes if we don’t revisit them on a regular basis, they can go to the wayside. And that’s a shame, because your goals are what’s important to you. It’s what you decided you really want to do. So I hope I encourage you to work on your goals, not to forget them.

So, this is my attempt to take a baby step and so I decided that my very first vlog will be one that’s kind of easy because I’m just going to make it public. Now I can’t back out because everybody knows I’m planning doing vlogs. And I also want to ask you – I actually have two requests. The first request I have for you is for suggestions on content. What topics would you like me to talk about in short segments, about three, four minute segments, that don’t take a long time to listen to or to watch, but that bring you value, that teach you something new or give you an idea or make you think of something in a different way. You know, the topics I usually focus on are related to leadership and communication, especially interpersonal communication in the workplace, related to employee development and employee learning, and also related to working in teams and to emotional intelligence, especially at work.

So what do you want to hear about? Do you have a special challenge or a particular question, something that came up that’s been bugging you or you weren’t sure if you handled it the best way? Please share with me any ideas you have, because that’s going to be really helpful. As I said, I’ve lined up some ideas already, but I’d love to hear what will make it valuable for you. So that’s my first request, what content would you like me to share with you?

My second request is for feedback. All of us see ourselves as we can, but we don’t really know how other people see us. We don’t really know what effect or impact we’re having. We know what our intentions are, but not our impact. So I really need to know, how am I doing? What could I do differently to make this better? I’d love for some specific suggestions from you, and you can put them into the comments, you can send them to me in the various social media. I’m very active in social media. Or you can just email them to me, halelly@talentgrow.com is my email address. And I would love to hear from you. It’s going to make it really much better for you and for me because my goal is to give you quality and useful content. So thank you so much for watching, and listening to my first vlog. And I really look forward to connecting with you soon. Have a wonderful day and let’s make this the best year yet. Take care.


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Visionary or Realist?

Visionary or Realist?

Last week, I returned from a much-needed vacation in California. My husband and I are both completely mesmerized by that place. We've felt this during our previous visits to that state. This enchantment was fertile ground for many wonderful 'Visioning' discussions. The theme: why don't we live there if we feel so alive and at-home in Cali? Is it feasible? Is it practical? Is it realistic? Is it a good idea? What are the implications for our family, our businesses, our lifestyle? While the discussions are not yet final, we are weighing implementing a plan for a future relo...

All of us experience this kind of passionate pull toward something (or some place, or someone) and the anxiety that uncertainty and fear of failure can produce around it.  All too often, I find colleagues, clients, and friends who had this kind of 'calling' and decided it was unrealistic, unpractical, or impossible, so they gave it up. Sometimes, their friends and family convinced them to drop it. It was brushed aside, and they returned to 'life-as-usual'.

On the flip side, there are those who take wild 'leaps of faith' to pursue such dreams. However, if they don't give adequate thought and time to planning and goal setting, it can be a recipe for failure -the reality that they didn't stop to incorporate into their vision shatters their dreams.

The painful end result is unfortunately similar: people who brush aside their dreams and those who leap to pursue them without planning first find themselves disillusioned, frustrated, depressed, and a feeling a deep sense of loss.

So what should we do about these dreams we feel pulled towards? I think the following simple (though not necessarily easy) steps are a must:

1. Visioning: create a clear description of your vision, one that identifies what end outcome you seek to achieve and how following your dream will get you there. This step must come first.

2. Goal-Setting: set actionable, measurable, and time-specific goals around strategies that help you realize your vision. In the process of doing this work, you will probably need to do some analysis of unknown variables that may impact your decision about whether and how to pursue these goals. This is important and should not be skipped. This is a 'reality-check' that is not meant to dampen your enthusiasm, but rather help you plan around potential obstacles to ensure success and limit/avoid set-backs.

3. Implementation and evaluation: Now, when you have clearly defined both your end outcomes vision and your steps for achieving it, you'll of course need to TAKE ACTION to implement your plan and follow your dreams, measuring your progress along the way and making any necessary interim corrections and revisions.

4. Reward progress and successful achievement: Finally, celebrate your accomplishments (intermediate and final, big and small) and rejoice in knowing you will not be among the disillusioned and defeated who fail to act on their calling or plan for their success!


Sign up to my free weekly newsletter and get more actionable tips and ideas for making yourself a better leader and a more effective communicator! It’s very short and relevant with quick tips, links, and news about leadership, communication, and self-development. Sign up now!

Also, subscribe to my podcast, The TalentGrow Show, on iTunes to always be the first in the know about new episodes of The TalentGrow Show! http://apple.co/1NiWyZo

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