Positive Affirmations

No, not exactly like the ones the Saturday Night Character 'Stuart Smalley' practiced, although watching him might cheer you up. I think the child in the below YouTube video has it right. She makes me giggle every time! Go Jessica!

Five Gratitudes in Five Minutes Exercise

I like this simple exercise, suggested by Dr. Martin Seligman in his book Authentic Happiness. Anyone can increase their happiness and success by practicing this very easy technique - including kids. Here's what you do:

1. Place a pad of paper and a pen or pencil next to your bed.
2. Before going to sleep each night, for the next two weeks, think back over the previous 24 hours and write down up to five 'gratitudes', or things for which you feel grateful. These don't need to be profound and symbolic (though those are fine too). They can be as simple as "great dinner", "being alive", or "the sunshine through the kitchen window this morning."
3. Repeat nightly for 14 nights.
4. At the end of two weeks, evaluate how you feel about this exercise and generally about your life. I bet you will feel happier, more positive, and more focused on what's good. You might even find that you want to incorporate this practice into your nightly routine.

What you'll probably find when you do this exercise is that by thinking about your gratitudes each night, it will shift your daytime focus to seek out things to be grateful for. By mentally preparing for the nightly exercise (subconsciously or consciously), you will become more cognizant of things you are grateful for and more grateful for things that happen to you that might not have been cast in the light of gratitude prior to this exercise. It makes you look for what's good in your life, and thus happier about the life you have and what makes you happy. Try it and let me know what you thought!

Take a look at my comments in the two short clips below (30 and 50 seconds each) and let me know your thoughts in the comments section.

Last week, I co-facilitated a high level Commission's Retreat that I designed along with my co-facilitator, Jon Desenberg, of the Performance Institute. We threw out the bulk of our planned design. It was brilliant.

Never mind that we spent hours upon hours in design, revision, and re-revision based on the client's ever-shifting requirements. Never mind that we worked nights and weekends to ensure that every moment of the 3.5 days of the retreat was well-planned and optimally accounted for in the highly interactive agenda.

We re-designed the whole thing at least three times during the three day retreat, on the fly.

Why?

Because it was the right thing to do. We listened to the clients attentively DURING the retreat. We were finely attuned to the situation, non-verbal nuances, reactions and interactions. We focused on their agenda, desired outcomes and energy dynamics, and adjusted accordingly.

How did it work?

Extremely well. Many of the participants, seasoned professionals with huge resumes and egos to match, thanked us heartily at the end. One said he came in highly skeptical and is leaving a converted man. Amen! The client indicated they want to engage us further in the coming year. They loved it.

So what does this mean about our pre-retreat work: was it a waste of time? I mean, after all, we threw just about all of those activities out the window.

No. As Dwight D. Eistenhower once said: "Plans are worthless, but planning is everything." Here's why:

1. Planning forces you to ponder possibilities and entertain potential obstacles before they happen. By thinking in advance about the goals for the retreat (or class, meeting, presentation, etc.) and the current state of things you make smart decisions about what works and what doesn't, but also consider some Plan B, C, and Z approaches to have in your 'bag of tools' should you need them.

2. Planning provides you with a framework within which to flex and shift. Without this framework, we would have flailed about when the situation changed because we would not have had the structure to ground us. Knowing time frames, limitations, possibilities, and desired outcomes COLD helped us select IN certain options and select OUT others in the moment.

3. Planning gives you the confidence needed to embrace change and the uncertainty it can bring. The more time you spend planning for an event, the less unexpected changes can shake your confidence because you are more familiar with the content and context. Knowing that the changes emanated from the external context -- not from some deficiencies in us or our plans -- gave us the confidence to throw out the plans and create new, better ones. We did not encounter any insecurities and were able to stay responsive and client-focused. Our clients sensed this confidence and trusted our skills, which fed back our loop of self-assurance and calm confidence in the face of change and flux.

What have been your experiences with planning vs. plans? 

Photo credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/mringlein/ / CC BY-NC-ND 2.0

"Over the last few years I have really been interested in research on what makes people happy and fulfilled. One of the key researchers in the 'Positive Psychology' field is Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi (pronounced 'cheek-sent-me-high-ee'), director of the Quality of Life Research Center at Claremont Graduate University, who has written about the concept of "Flow". He coined this term to describe the mental state of operation in which you are fully immersed in what you are doing and feeling energized focus, full involvement, and success in the process of the activity.
 
I imagine we all want more of that feeling, and helping others get more of it would be a great bonus! :)
So today, when I came across a wonderful, 20-minutes-short talk (at TED) by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi overviewing his research on Flow and creativity, I immediately wanted to share it with you in the hope that it provides you with some food for thought, or maybe if you are already familiar with it, a tool to pass along to others who could benefit.
 
Please enjoy!!"
 

As the holiday season is upon us, and as we set our gaze on the shiny New Year, I wish you lots of 'Flow' moments in your life. May you have many opportunities to 'grow your talent'. Cheers! ~Halelly

As 2009 President, I am very proud of the work we've done and the tremendous efforts of the talented volunteers all around me who made it all possible. Just last week, we held our annual Volunteer Recognition dinner celebration during which we thanked all those who have volunteered in some capacity to help our chapter operate - we do it on 100% volunteer fuel!

I think 2009 has been a very successful year for Metro DC ASTD. In a tight market and a contracting economy we've managed to keep our membership steady (actually, it grew) and continued to provide quality programs to our constituents to achieve our mission of enriching their knowledge and skills and increasing their impact in their workplace. We added a lot of new virtual ways to do that via social media, webinars, and podcasts, which garnered us an award from the National ASTD. And we've continued to keep over 6,000 workplace learning and performance professionals informed about events in our area that can help them grow professionally - help their talent grow!

The Volunteer Recognition event featured a panel of experts who discussed the value of volunteering to enhancing one's career, a subject I've previously discussed here and here. One of the attendees, Andrew Welch, who volunteers with the US Coast Guard Auxiliary, summarized some of their key points nicely on his blog. 

How have your volunteer experiences enriched your career this year? What new opportunities are you going to seize to grow your own talent in 2010? I would love to hear about it in the comments!

Bottom Photo credit: Ali Green

In my professional and volunteer roles I encounter many interesting people who are doing great work. One of them is Kitty Wooley, a Human Capital Strategist for the US Department of Education.

Last year Kitty launched a blog called Senior Fellows and Friends for members of a seven-year-old "evolving multisector network .... [of people] who want to participate in improving government by engaging in constructive conversation." Kitty writes, "No matter what one does for a living, it's very easy to become insulated and isolated. However, I think we'll get a better result for the public if we consciously do the opposite, stretching to connect with those who are unlike us along many dimensions."

Kitty has asked me to guest-post for the Senior Fellow and Friends blog, so I wrote about the common obstacles I see in managing performance in the public sector and some ideas about overcoming them. You can read it on her blog, here. I'd love to know what you think.

Photo by monkeyc from Flickr.comBut seriously, as readers of this blog probably know, I'm really interested in goal-setting and goal-directed behavior. I'm also keen on understanding what helps build success. So when I saw this latest post from Gretchen Rubin on her Happiness Project blog about how long it actually takes to form new habits, I was naturally intrigued.

Gretchen sheds light on an oft-quoted 'truism': Habits are NOT formed in 21 days for most of us. Recent research published in the European Journal of Social Psychology that shows that it takes an average of 66 days until we actually form a solid habit.

When I work with clients on establishing new skills and habits in the workplace to improve leadership, communication, or teamwork, I often talk to them about the challenges they'll likely face when trying to make changes take root. We can become discouraged when we try to cultivate new habits within the environment that sustained our previous habits. There will be hurdles and push-back. It won't be easy. But if we stick at it, and understand it is natural to face these obstacles, and that it can take a while until the new habit stops feeling awkward and starts feeling 'normal', we'll be more likely to succeed.

It's when we have unrealistic expectations of overnight success or short-term miracles that we get discouraged and give up on the new practices and just go back to 'business-as-usual'. And the old '21 days to form a new habit' cliché was not helping at all - it contributed to that feeling of despair and disappointment when we got to day 22 and we were still struggling. So, I hope this new research helps break through some blocks and re-energize you to practice and keep at it. What has been your experience with forming new habits? I'd love to hear about it - please use the comments below. Thanks!

Photo by Rob Gallop via Flickr

Daniel Goleman and his co-authors mention this "CEO Disease" in Primal Leadership: that vacuum around leaders that buffers them from key information can lead to disasters. We've seen some examples of such faulty and uninformed decisions displayed in recent stories about the financial crisis.

Leaders must ensure that the 'bad' information flows up freely and is not filtered out by various 'Yes-Men'. While it's a natural tendency to shun or rebut those who don't agree with us or give us contrary information, leaders must be extra careful to nurture their 'No-Men'. Those are people who can help leaders stay in the loop and avoid making disastrous decisions.

In my experience, most leaders are not the evil commander type. They have the intention to be open; most say they have an 'open-door policy'. Yet, many find themselves feeding their info 'bubble' unintentionally with their own actions. They say and do things that squelch openness and nay saying even if they do not consciously intend to.

Leadership expert Bret Simmons recently described two tell-tale signs you are failing to nurture your 'No-Men': First, if your people never see you say no then you are teaching by example that "no" is not an acceptable answer. Second, if people notice that every time someone says no, they don't stick around much longer, they get the message loud and clear about the consequences of doing so. Simmons offers sage advice: "Wake up. You are deep in self-deception. If no one ever comes to you with bad news, that’s bad news."

Tips for Nurturing 'No-Men':

So what should you do to avoid this CEO Disease, you ask? Here are some suggestions to get you started:

1. Raise your own self-awareness by soliciting uncensored information. Often the first step for changing behavior is awareness of the problem's nature and prevalence. A common tool that allows your staff, peers, and bosses to anonymously speak up about your strengths and limitations is a 360 degree feedback instrument.
2. Verbally and visibly create space for raising concerns. During important decision processes, insert a step where contrariness is encouraged and nurtured. Ask everyone to think of possible reasons why a course-of-action might fail or possible obstacles that might arise.
3. Ruthlessly self-monitorto avoid shooting messengers or naysayers. Practice extra self-restraint when you hear contrary information so as not to unintentionally shut out future instances of employees speaking up. Strategize ways to notice, then overcome, your natural negative response.
4. Create feedback loops for improvement because change is incremental and what gets measured gets managed. By monitoring your development and its effects (such as through a second and third round of 360 degree assessment down the road), you can apply course-corrections and praise positive progress. Another idea is to solicit one-on-one feedback from trusted collaborators who can help you stick to your goals and assess your success in achieving them.

How are you nurturing your "No-Men"? What practices do you have in place to ward off CEO Disease?

Okay, so I have a raving fan experience to share. It's a great lesson in how going the extra mile and thinking big-picture can win over customers and turn them into raving fans.Photo by Shawn Honnick via Flickr 

Yesterday morning, I decided to merge the basic human needs of 'exercise' and 'play' by going on a bike ride with my friend. We took a trail with which neither of us was familiar. It was sunny, breezy, and the blue sky made it a perfect day to enjoy putting the 'out' back in 'work out'. Glorious.

Our gorgeous trail ended smack dab in front of a little Italian cafe and specialty grocer in Bethesda, Maryland, called Cornucopia. We decided to take a coffee/snack break before trekking back home. We were greeted warmly by the owner and his associate who were seated at one of the outdoor tables. They made small talk with us and made us feel very welcome.

Inside, once we placed our order, we experienced an embarrassing realization: my friend, who didn't realize we were going to Bethesda when she left her house, didn't bring any money. I only grabbed a few bills and my Amex card. The cash I had wasn't sufficient to cover the order and they don't accept Amex. What to do?!

Ibo, the owner, was very calm. He said: "Just bring me the rest of the money later." We were pretty surprised. "Are you sure?" we asked. "Yes - you are from around here, aren't you?" "Yes." "Okay, then. Just pay me later."

He doesn't know us. We are not regulars. He has no guarantee we'll return.

But he showed us that he trusted us. And his 'big-picture' thinking exceeded our expectations and will certainly pay off.

We felt so grateful. We spent part of our meal discussing how wonderful the place was, the service, and treatment we received. And we absolutely repaid our debt (the check already left in yesterday afternoon's mail).

But this small gesture and 'risky' investment will pay off repeatedly in the long-term, as well. First, I can guarantee that we'll both return and spend more money there. What's more, the investment will enjoy a multiplier effect since we'll both tell our friends and family (and the world, as in this blog post) about our experience. Ibo gained so much by taking a 'risk' that would have him lose very little if it didn't work.

Are you and your co-workers or staff thinking about the 'big-picture' to build customer loyalty? Are you exceeding your customers' (or co-workers') expectations to build trust and long-term credibility?